can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
