is wine microwaveable?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
