a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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