I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
