How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
