would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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