I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
