I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
