Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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