Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
