Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
