im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
