Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
