Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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