In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She's JV to your varsity
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
