it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
