Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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