NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
