I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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