from now on my penis is your penis
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want her autograph on my taint
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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