Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
