matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
