this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
