Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize