Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
