i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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