My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
