Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
