Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
