Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
