My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
