So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Of course I have a pirate flag
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
