the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we made out on top of his cat.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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