Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
