And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
