So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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