if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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