He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize