I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
