marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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