Midget sex pt 2 tonight
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So many bounce houses so little time
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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