dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
