In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
