Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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