OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
