at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
