Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
