I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Shame - the story of my life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
