Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just invented taco cereal.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I love you.
Bad choice
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