I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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